Oh the life of a roller derby announcer

On one of our many trips to call roller derby, our handlers (Fari$ Hero and Will the Thrill) decided to film the adventure.

This particular trip was down to Evansville Indiana to call for Demolition City. Brownie and I have been calling for Demoliton City for 3 seasons now. This is on top of our original gig for the Naptown Roller Girls and other teams here and there.

The trip to Evansville from Indianapolis is a magic one. You can't drive straight through. You start off heading south and then you have to catch a special "Harry Potter" road, I think its interstate 62 and 2/3rds. Then at the 4th rest stop you need to buy a bottle of unicorn tears and put it in your radiator. That helps your car not over heat when you make your 2nd pass around the sun. Then head south some more and you will reach Evansville. Anyway here is the 15 minute documentary. Fari$ had the forsight to edit out the drugs, prostitution, nudity (for the most part) and some other stuff. This isn't an actual story, just random parts of a great trip.

3rd panel August 15th 2010

Faris

Dill's

Once again Faris has shown an artistic expertise that can only be described as........disturbing.

the 3rd panel 8 Aug 2010

WARNING: Today's panel was rough. 8 panels to start with so realistically this is the "9th Panel". We will still call it the "3rd" panel. We can let the technicalities of it all be our little secret. Our dirty, dirty little secret. Speaking of uncomfortable, the end result is equally as rough, well at least Faris' is. I will let you 'the reader' decide. We can't let concern for public safety change what comes out of our artistic minds. I believe, however, that Faris may have won this round.

FARIS

DILL

Rob Reiner and my Hat on the Red Carpet.

Kerri = Date
Karli = Heartland Pictures rep
(this is to help guide you through my ramblings.)

Last night was the premiere of Rob Reiners film "Flipped". It happened right here in good old Indianapolis.


Our friend Karli asked if Joan and I wanted to go. Karli is now working for Heartland Films as a promotions person, or something like that. Anyway I wanted to go. Joan had practice and her Roller Derby dedication can never ever be questioned as she said she couldn't miss practice. Naptown does have regionals coming up so I get it but Rob Reiner = Spinal Tap, Princess Bride, Sleepless in Seattle, he was in an old Batman episode, check out Rob's IMDB Page. Hell while our at it, check out my IMDB listing. Yeah, I am famous.

Soooooooo any way, I needed a date. What better date then Jane Ire's wife Kerri. I could almost guarantee that my charm and wit would not influence her to put me in an uncomfortable situation when we got to the "goodnight end of date kiss". We will get to that later.

Besides seeing a Rob Reiner film at a Red Carpet event, my intentions were to get him or someone famous to wear my hat. I was not disappointed. The night was filled with stars like John Mahoney - Frasier's Dad ,Aidin Quinn, Anthony Edwards, and many more... I saw local icon Patty Spitler. I am sure I didn't recognize half of the people I should.

The night started out hotter than balls. Kerri and I made our way to will call and found not only our tickets but, the Hilbert Circle Theater on the circle had this new fangled thing called "Air Conditioning" . I am sure it is just a fad but we stayed in the little entry way as long as we could.

Karli was doing interviews of famous people for Heartland films and she wanted to interview "local influencial people". Cool. So I had my first Red Carpet Interview.

Karli from Heartland Films interviews Dill Hero

She also Interviewed my hat. That interview was much shorter.


We noticed that some of the guests had tiny little coke bottles and were drinking them like they were going out of style. In fact, they did go out of style before we got inside. No cokes for us. Damn. We did get free popcorn and that ruled so much. The popcorn was much needed as we hiked to the 3rd floor to take our seats.
We had the best seats in the house. 2 seats on the side without anyone squeezed around us. I apologized ,in advance, to the lady sitting in front of us for any crying or overall emotional break downs I may have if the movie went that way.

After some intros and an introduction to the cast the movie began. I had been unsuccessful in any famous people wearing my hat at this point so we settled in to watch the movie. I was also watching the clock. You see, Indianapolis has a tradition of towing that goes way back. My meter said it was free for me to park from 6pm - 9pm. The movie had started late and my time was running out. at 8:50 (about 20 minutes before the film ended) I had to go. I went to my car and up on a post , facing the way I was walking, was a sign that said I was good until 11pm. The sign was only on one side and the meter clearly said 9pm but there it was. So I said screw it and went back to the movie. On the way in I noticed that the staff was setting up Hors d'œuvre Trays. I was going to help myself early and bring a couple to Kerri but they were watching me closely. I returned to my seat to Kerri's surprise. I explained that it wouldn't be right to leave her in an emotional movie right before the ending. I also burned up the apology I had given earlier to the Lady in front of us. The movie closed, we laughed, we cried and we hit those trays of food Hard and Heavy. I used my hat as a plate.
I believe the looks I was getting were saying "what an innovative young man" or " I wish I had a hat".

So the night was over and still no celebrity hat wearings. So we went outside.

Earlier that evening we had noticed a blonde lady driving a kids Barbie Jeep with a tiny "I-HAUL" trailer attached to it.


dis-regard the fellows stealing the stereo

She was just driving around. As we were leaving we saw that she had set her own pink carpet. It had a little house and a backdrop. So we went over to talk to her. Guess who she was.

Jennifer Murphy .... she was on the fourth season of "The Apprentice." Miss Oregon 2004,. She appeared in the movie , "Killer Movie" in 2009. Good enough.



She is self promoting her new thing "Illegally Blonde".

I invited her to call roller derby sometime.

the end...

the 3rd Panel

For years, and I mean years, every Sunday, Faris and I have done what we call the 3rd panel. I wont go into why we picked family circus but we did. Recently we started using these new fangled devices called computers. No longer are the days of drawing the "3rd Panel" on a half used piece of toilet paper. No pencils no running out of ink. Welcome to the electronic age. Well here we are. For your enjoyment. Our first 2 electronic 3rd panels.

Faris'
Mine
Faris
Mine

The Rules:
1. we cannot look at each others 3rd panel until it is done
2. Thats it.

Faris and I made a Skit..

Faris Hero and I have been kicking around bad movie and skit ideas for the better part of 10 years. Finally we have one under our belt.

What I learned from roller derby

My body is capable of drinking way more than I ever thought it was.

Lately we've been upping our game. Our Pre-bout is getting more intense than ever. Yesterday during a drinking, I felt like my speach was sluring, my kidneys were burning, and there was absolutely no way I could possibly hold it for another second.
But I did. And then I drank another, and another, and another...

It's been that way for the past few months. My co-announcer ask the impossible from my body, and my body surprise me by doing what is asked. I would never know what I'm capable of on my own. When I drink on my own, I do my reps, I follow what I "think" I should be doing. When I drink for derby, I do eat cheese burgers that I would never attempt, fries and bacon that seem way out of my capabilities.
Only they aren't out of my capability at all! Except I would never know that without this sport. It's pushing me to give more and be better, for myself and my team.

Now if only the beer and cheese burgers could scream that final 10lbs on to my body...


also see
the original post from Joan of Dark