Faris Hero and I have been kicking around bad movie and skit ideas for the better part of 10 years. Finally we have one under our belt.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
What I learned from roller derby
My body is capable of drinking way more than I ever thought it was.
Lately we've been upping our game. Our Pre-bout is getting more intense than ever. Yesterday during a drinking, I felt like my speach was sluring, my kidneys were burning, and there was absolutely no way I could possibly hold it for another second.
But I did. And then I drank another, and another, and another...
It's been that way for the past few months. My co-announcer ask the impossible from my body, and my body surprise me by doing what is asked. I would never know what I'm capable of on my own. When I drink on my own, I do my reps, I follow what I "think" I should be doing. When I drink for derby, I do eat cheese burgers that I would never attempt, fries and bacon that seem way out of my capabilities.
Only they aren't out of my capability at all! Except I would never know that without this sport. It's pushing me to give more and be better, for myself and my team.
Now if only the beer and cheese burgers could scream that final 10lbs on to my body...
also see
the original post from Joan of Dark
Lately we've been upping our game. Our Pre-bout is getting more intense than ever. Yesterday during a drinking, I felt like my speach was sluring, my kidneys were burning, and there was absolutely no way I could possibly hold it for another second.
But I did. And then I drank another, and another, and another...
It's been that way for the past few months. My co-announcer ask the impossible from my body, and my body surprise me by doing what is asked. I would never know what I'm capable of on my own. When I drink on my own, I do my reps, I follow what I "think" I should be doing. When I drink for derby, I do eat cheese burgers that I would never attempt, fries and bacon that seem way out of my capabilities.
Only they aren't out of my capability at all! Except I would never know that without this sport. It's pushing me to give more and be better, for myself and my team.
Now if only the beer and cheese burgers could scream that final 10lbs on to my body...
also see
the original post from Joan of Dark
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Clown Plaza
I was on my way to the coffee shop this morning and I noticed something that has apparently been there for a while and I just never noticed. CLOWN PLAZA. It is a sign in front of a strip business office center. What in the hell is Clown Plaza? Is it where clowns have law offices and karate studios? I just don't get it. The funny thing is this thing is close to my house. That being said, Joan of Dark (my lovely wife) is scared to death of clowns. If I were you I wouldn't dress up as a clown on a lark and try to scare her. The joke would be on you. She isn't the kind of girl to curl up and ask why in a whispery voice as her mind shuts down and she visits a special place that keeps her safe. She is the type of girl to beat and possibly kill what would cause her such fear. Joan of Dark - Clown Hunter. Now that would be a comic. Although I don't think she would actually hunt clowns. Maybe Joan of Dark - Clown Defender. Well that makes her sound like the clown lawyers that would have an office in clown plaza. Hmmm.
Well whatever it would be called, it would rule so much.
How do I feel about "Clown Plaza". Well, I do not fear clowns. I have, however, feared a certain clown.
The setting: 3am, Bourbon Street, New Orleans, America. The night was dark and wet. The rain had tried in vain to clean the nights festivities away. What was left behind was a thick wet humidity. The street had turned into a grey and brown running gutter water, old cups, cigarette butts and what drunk people leave behind in gutters, soup. Gross. The rain also left behind a clown. A full blown bright make-up, big hair, red nosed, big shoe, cigarette smoking clown.
This may come as a shock but My friends and I had been drinking. One of my friends looks over at this clown (who is sitting in a strip club doorway) and says, "what kind of degree do you have to have to be a clown on bourbon street." The clown looked up with has big painted smile, exhaled and said, " I'm going to kick your ass." I said "you must be a sad on the inside kind of clown." He jumped up without a squeek or any pop up flowers and the chase began. He was using humor to try and catch us. We were laughing so hard he almost caught me. All I could hear was 'KATHWAP - KATHWAP -KATHWAP - KATHWAP'. It was the sound of giant clown shoes slapping the wet muck of Bourbon Street. Lucky for us the shoes were enoughh to slow this HELL CLOWN down. He was leaning back like you would imagine a big shoe clown running, so as not to trip over his size 42 shoes. We narrowly escaped with our lives. All this for "clowning" on this guy. get it? hahaha. sorry for that . Anyway, the moral of this story. Do Not Fuck With Bourbon Street Clowns.
Well whatever it would be called, it would rule so much.
How do I feel about "Clown Plaza". Well, I do not fear clowns. I have, however, feared a certain clown.
The setting: 3am, Bourbon Street, New Orleans, America. The night was dark and wet. The rain had tried in vain to clean the nights festivities away. What was left behind was a thick wet humidity. The street had turned into a grey and brown running gutter water, old cups, cigarette butts and what drunk people leave behind in gutters, soup. Gross. The rain also left behind a clown. A full blown bright make-up, big hair, red nosed, big shoe, cigarette smoking clown.
This may come as a shock but My friends and I had been drinking. One of my friends looks over at this clown (who is sitting in a strip club doorway) and says, "what kind of degree do you have to have to be a clown on bourbon street." The clown looked up with has big painted smile, exhaled and said, " I'm going to kick your ass." I said "you must be a sad on the inside kind of clown." He jumped up without a squeek or any pop up flowers and the chase began. He was using humor to try and catch us. We were laughing so hard he almost caught me. All I could hear was 'KATHWAP - KATHWAP -KATHWAP - KATHWAP'. It was the sound of giant clown shoes slapping the wet muck of Bourbon Street. Lucky for us the shoes were enoughh to slow this HELL CLOWN down. He was leaning back like you would imagine a big shoe clown running, so as not to trip over his size 42 shoes. We narrowly escaped with our lives. All this for "clowning" on this guy. get it? hahaha. sorry for that . Anyway, the moral of this story. Do Not Fuck With Bourbon Street Clowns.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
GNOME UPDATE - Tour bus floozy
We last saw that gnome was on an airplane heading to who knows where..
Well ... The Gnome has become a groupie.. or a light tech.
Learning Barry Tunes
Running Lights
Watching the show
On the Tour Bus.. Maybe Gnome has become a Tour Bus Fluzzy.. nononononono.
One clue is the photo titled "Learning Barry Tunes", There are hundreds of Barrys, Barry Williams aka Greg Brady, Dave Barry, Barry Manilow, Boo Berry, Barry White... The list is huge.
Is he working for one of them now? Did they raise his minimum wage?. Maybe he is being forced to do it.. THOSE BASTARDS..AAARRGGRHH LEAVE HIM ALONE...Bring him Back to me..
Well ... The Gnome has become a groupie.. or a light tech.
Learning Barry Tunes
Running Lights
Watching the show
On the Tour Bus.. Maybe Gnome has become a Tour Bus Fluzzy.. nononononono.One clue is the photo titled "Learning Barry Tunes", There are hundreds of Barrys, Barry Williams aka Greg Brady, Dave Barry, Barry Manilow, Boo Berry, Barry White... The list is huge.
Is he working for one of them now? Did they raise his minimum wage?. Maybe he is being forced to do it.. THOSE BASTARDS..AAARRGGRHH LEAVE HIM ALONE...Bring him Back to me..
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Looking for T.V. to watch
So I am sniffing around the intrawebs trying to find some T.V. I might like. You see, I usually only have an hour or 2 to watch T.V. at night. When I am eating dinner.
I am thinking about getting rid of my satellite. You can find so many T.V. shows online now that I don't really need cable or satelitte. In my search for a good show I came across this..(no pun intended)
A SHOW CALLED "HUNG" on HBO. Now I cant watch it online so I probably wont , but the WIKIPEDIA description is just plain AWSOME..
"a struggling high school basketball coach who uses his large penis to his advantage"
Now that is what I call T.V.
I am thinking about getting rid of my satellite. You can find so many T.V. shows online now that I don't really need cable or satelitte. In my search for a good show I came across this..(no pun intended)
A SHOW CALLED "HUNG" on HBO. Now I cant watch it online so I probably wont , but the WIKIPEDIA description is just plain AWSOME..
"a struggling high school basketball coach who uses his large penis to his advantage"
Now that is what I call T.V.
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