Friday, December 19, 2008


A friend of mine once said that when he dies he wants to be cremated and have his ashes thrown at people he didnt like. Thats funny.

I turn 40 on Christmas day. I am not upset by it. I mean I don't feel old yet so whats the big deal.
I'll tell you what the big deal is. THE COMMERCIAL. THE DAMNED COMMERCIAL.

"HERE IS AN URGENT MESSAGE FOR ANYONE BORN BETWEEN 1922 AND 1968. " Thats Me. I finally made it to the end of the commercial road. This is the final mile stone. I now qualify for to make it easier on my loved ones and friends when I am dead. Great. O.K.

What do I want when I die?(besides being back alive) hmmm. well I want an Irish wake. Also before the wake , when they put me in the ground, I want a song to be played. A deep thought provoking song that makes people cry and cry. I would say play Devo - through being cool

., but out of respect for my wife (who hates DEVO {crazy}),I will pick something else..hmm, what to pick ,,what about "One" from MEtallica, or at least the Polysics version

I don't know. , if you have any ideas please comment.

Enough about gloom and doom. lets talk about christmas parties. I am going to act like a 5th grader with a 6 pack of PBR this weekend. Thats right. I'm getting drunk. Don't judge me. So what if I am naked from the waste down and drunk texting people that I hardly know. After it's over I will say I wont drink again and then 2 weeks later call the season opener of Naptown Roller Derby. (that means drinking). YEAH.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I have only 2 words for all of you...


Thursday, December 11, 2008

Illinois Senate Seat

Because nobody wants to touch the Senate seat in Illinois, I am using this blog to openly bid on the seat. I bid $5. Just let me know where to pick up my office keys and I will start after the New Year. I am not sure how I will be ringing in the New Year but I would like to wait to take office as I don't want to represent my position poorly.

Also I understand Jesse L. Jackson Jr is Canidate #5. Is it just me or does everyone else see "Jackson 5". Weird. Yet another conspiracy flaw. We see you government. We see you.

Anyway... I can hear it now. "We would like to call Illinois Senator Hero to the floor...... senator Her0?... Will someone please wake Mr. Her0."

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


The Naptown Roller Girls Calendar release was this past weekend. It was packed to the rafters and a good time. I was hanging out and talking and so happy until I saw this.

If they were going to air brush me out of the picture then they should have told me. oh well here is the original picture prior to "THE EDIT"

With the new season starting on Jan 10th, I guess I just need to get over this travisty.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Header picture change

I just put my original design up and took down what it looked like on last seasons suit. It's time for a change of scenery.

Monday, November 3, 2008

I want a cyber car

Actually I NEED a cyber car. I have always dreamed of a car that will drive itself, kind of like K.I.T. in Night Rider (not the remake, I am talking Hasselhoff).

Anyway I think I would need the bus

so I can lay down and sleep while this thing drives me around.

The car is tiny, tiny,

I wonder if you can drink while your cyber car takes you from place to place.. That would rule so much ass.


Thursday, September 18, 2008

What a real man wears

Whether its alien attack or a standard Zombie Invasion, I know what I will be wearing when fighting whatever threatens the earth.


Thursday, August 28, 2008

Hamboygaz and Beer

Hamburgers are also known as Zamboygas ( I may blog about the origin of "Zamboygaz" at a later time)..

It has long since been a tradition of Brownie (my fellow announcer) and I to get a Cheeseburger (aka ZAMBOYGA) and a couple beers before every bout we announce. We have had this tradition with Naptown for 2 years now. We started calling for the Evansville Dynamite Dolls this year and so have been on a search for the best hamburger in Evansville, Indiana. This is official and I can assure you that we are experts in the field of burgeralogy and beerensics.

I just started blogging about this so I will catch you up.

First of all, what does it take to make a good Cheese Burger? There are so many options and ways to make Cheeseburgers that it would be impossible to list them all. I like my hamburger Medium to well, with Crispy Bacon ,that is required, we can discuss everything else on it. Brownie prefers Medium with , what I call, runny bacon. Thats disgusting but it is what he likes and I would fight to the death if anyone tried to stop him from having his bacon slimy and disgusting like he likes. Usually the servers Will get our orders reversed but we don't hold that against them and it will not lose any points in the judgment.

How should I rate this? 1 to 10? happy faces? pre bout (roller derby games) toilet visits? I am not sure really. I guess I should use a little graphic. That's a good idea.. I made this ..... So it will be up to 10 zamboyga stamps, 10 being the Best and 1 being like eating out of the devils butt.

We have tried 5 places in E-ville. They rate as follows

1.Fast Eddies

This place reminds me of some of the places in Florida or on the beach. It is Huge and set up for bands to play. The bar looks like it should be directly on the beach. You order your burger from the bar and then they call out your number and you go get it from the grilling station. The burgers are cheap and pretty good. They are kind of plain and I cant really remember much about them other than I was satisfied with the price and what I got. The beer was good. We went in about 3pm and it was pretty empty but I bet this place lights up at night. I would go back for sure.

Fast Eddys bottom line = Great Price on Burgers and Beer, Burger is ok.

2. Raffertys - 1400 N Green River Rd -Evansville, IN 47715-(812) 471-0024

This place reminds me of a chain restaurant that might be going out of business. The service was great. We sat outside , which was nice. They served cokes in the can from a cooler outside. According to Sweet C of the Naptown roller girls the BBQ sandwich was good. If I remember right the burgers were OK but not good enough to end our search for the better burger.
Bottom Line = If I am in a hurry and the place is still open I will go back. The burger is OK.

3. Ri-Ras- Outside was a very cool modern looking building with a few out door tables. Inside was set in an Irish bar theme, with Guinness signs and a very nice dark wood setting the place looked promising. It also looked like an interior decorator had been hired to get the look of n Irish pub, whatever, it is about the burger and beers, right? It wasn't good. I wanted this place to be the place. You know, I wanted to say RiRa's in funny voices and go on and on about how great it was. No Dice. We were seated in the bar area and ordered our beers and started looking at the menu. oh it looked promising. The price was not that high for how fancy the place was. We ordered food and settled in. A wedding party had gathered in the bar. (about 7 people) One guy had an awesome mullet and was telling how he "accidentally got the mullet" at his hair salon. Funny. Then another couple came in and sat in the dining area followed by another couple. Still not many people for a place this big. So we sat. Then, after a while, we sat some more and waited. The bartender that had initially waited on us was a little busy talking to the wedding party. Several wait staff walked by. My favorite was the guy that would look at our tables and give a look of "I see your ready for another beer or food, I will look into that" and walk on by. In the end that guy did absolutely nothing but walk around. He didn't wait on any one. Then after about 45 minutes with no beer and no food I see 2 cooks come out of the kitchen. 2 COOKS. They have food on them so I assume the have been cooking. They disappear out the side for a good amount of time. Then they come back and we are still waiting. The wedding party leaves after several drinks and the bar tender comes back to us. He says he will check on our food and we order 2 more beers. At this point all can be saved by a good cheese burgers. Uh oh. they come. And it looks like these things have been cooked on an active volcano. The onion on mine had the look of an onion that has been sliced and put in the fridge without any cover for 2 days. The burger was black and the bacon was burnt. Even Brownies (who as you may remember orders medium with slimy gross disgusting bacon), was burnt. They were burnt the same consistency. Dry and Gross. So no Ri-ras, No songs about Ri-Ras, No funny voices..Damn

Bottom Line = Damn and a new ratting. One tiny burnt piece of bacon.

4. The Sports Man Bar and Grill 2315 W Franklin St - Evansville, IN 47712-(812) 422-0801-
Set in what looks like the original downtown of Evansville, the building is one of those 2 or 3 story brick buildings. The kind you find in all of the midwest cities. We entered through the back and walked into a huge, dark room. Pool tables and plenty of room. A small bar at the front of the building and next to that a grill. The grill was practically in the front window. We headed towards the grill area. the floor was crooked and old school wood. The place was very cool as far as I am concerned. I guess I should clarify so you might understand my point of view. I have hung out in, played music in, and ate and drank in, bars that look like the worst place you can imagine so when I say it is a cool place it could still be considered a dive to some. There were several people at the bar getting the afternoon libations. We ordered our cheese burgers and beers and sat down. Typical bar chairs with big long tables. The cheeseburgers were finished in a short time and guess what? THEY WERE FUCKING GREAT. The guy behind the grill must be a master in grillology, a teacher of the meats. A CHEESE BURGER MASTER. The bun was toasted on the grill and the burgers were perfect according to every ones specifications. The bacon was Crispy. I had a BACONASM it was so good.
Bottom line = Do not die before getting a cheese burger and beer at The Sports Man

5. Corner Bar - 2668 Mount Vernon Ave - Evansville, IN 47712 - (812) 423-0933‎

Now I decided to start taking Photos at this bar. It was an experience. The bar looks like it is in an old house. Kind of what most inner city bars look like when the nieghborhoods are part lived in houses and part business houses. The floor was pressed partical board with pieces missing. A daunting box fan sat in the corner. At one time it was a white fan but now had the black gunk of good times caking it. If they were to turn it on we would all surely get cancer or emphysema. We entered through a side door and I noticed that this house may be sliding a little of of its foundation. Any way it has 2 pool tables and a bar. Quite a bit smaller than the Sportsman but who cares. The grill is perched directly behind the bar so the bartender can serve shots, beer and flip burgers all at the same time. I have to admit that I had a bad feeling about this place when we sat down and the beer list was all Budweiser. Nothing against Bud but I am kind of a beer snob. Although there is still nothing like an Ice Cold Pabst Blue Ribbon to take your memories back to the 5th grade. Ah the good old days. Anyway back to the review. The bartender/waitress was super nice. She came over and we asked what was available she had to go check. They were out of 1/4 pound hamburgers but she aid she could make us some double cheeseburgers. No bacon, Whaaaaaaa. Oh well so I ordered one and a bag of chips. They didn't have fries Whaaaaaaaaa. To make this review longer let me explain that when we went to the Sportsman and now this place, we we had Demolition City Roller Girl "Rock Scar" and her husband "Mr Scar" showing us around. They suggested we order a "Slim Jim". I asked what that was and they said "just get one" so I asked what is on tap and they list of the usual bar beers and then say "Amber Bock". Cool. Not my first choice but alright. This thing was a Huge 40oz Beer Mug.
HOLY SHIT. Are you Kidding me? and only 3 bucks. WOW.... So then we get our burgers..

Look at it,,,,,LOOK AT IT. It was so so good. I have dreams about it. The buns were toasted and the burger was greasy and tasted so great. Cheese was oozing out of it like it was a super hot asian girl hitting on me. Saying dirty things to me that made me excited. I cried a little and then I ATE THE SHIT OUT OF THAT THING. I wanted more but I know the limits. When you are on stage calling a roller derby match you do not want your pre bout hang out meal calling on you for immediate maneuvers at Ft James or to put it another way "the lease running out on your burger and it is moving out". So I held off. The meal was about 7 bucks and I tipped 4 and change. 2-ones and a 2 dollar bill.hahaha Why did I have a 2 dollar bill? I don't know.

Bottom Line= FANTASTIC...The beer was cheap and the food was good. I am onl rating the burger so although they had no fries and no bacon I will still give the burger high marks as it was probably the best tasting burger I have had so far.

So there it is , my first review.. Enjoy

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Sassy's BIG BARK

I have a little dog named "Sassy Buritto". She s also known as "Le Sas El Buritto" "Little Fat"and "Little Turd" any way, she is tiny. At least her head is tiny. and so when she barks it is a tiny bark. I had just bought a bullhorn and was holding it and her and she starts barking at the microphone. I pulled the trigger and let her bark away. cars were slowing down in front of my house.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Flooded out

So all of a sudden on June 7th central indiana flooded out. This is video of Main St. Greenwood Indiana at 11:30 am..

Brownie and Sweet C (of Naptown Roller Girl Fame) and myself were headed towards Evansville to Help The Demolition City Roller Girls Dynamite Dolls with a bout. We made it through, the Ref crew, that wa behind us, did not. They closed all the roads and interstates right after we got through.

Oh and Brownie and Sweet C got there Stimulus check in case you didn't pay attention to the beginning of the vid. We haven't got ours yet. I need to stimulate the hell out of my debt, if you know what I'm sayin.

Thursday, March 20, 2008


Has this ever happened to you? You come home from a 2 month business trip. You get home and are getting ready to go to your "WELCOME BACK" party. Your husband (or significant other) goes to get your dildo out of your suitcase. BLAMMO, it is taped up with a huge amount of "INSPECTED" stickers from airport security.

Well this happened to my good friend who we will call her "K-riZ-10". Her husband had the foresight to video the shocking experience.

I interviewed her at the Welcome Back party.

The interview describes the purchase and subsequent discovery by the security inspectors.

dill- alright tell me that again
k - about the ibuzz?
dill - your friend bought...
k- my freind bought the ibuzz,
k-the ibuzz, you know, you, whenever you plug it into your ipod it goes to the beat of the music which she says is pretty fantastic
d- ppfffhh , was it on sale?
k - no it was not on sale.
d- but the brontosaurus was?
k-the brontosaurs was 98, i got it down to 27.99
-d- you got it down to 27.99, did you talk it down or was it already on sale?
k- it was already 27.99
d-oh my god
k- i know, i know
d-and were you embarrassed? .. embarrassed with this thing.. when you opened your suitcase?
k-when i opened my suitcase, when i saw the note written on my vibrator,
d- yeah
k- all it said to me was..inspected
d- (laugh)
k- because as many times as the tape was wrapped around, somebody groped the end, because they had to wrap it around the other end

well that's it. people be aware. this could happen to you.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Dill's first blog

I had a couple of ideas, as this is my very first blog. But the more I think about them the more I think "these are probably what all blogs first entries say"... I thought about "Hey I am blogging, yeah" also "Big deal another blog..who cares"..

I did realize that this blog is a BIG DEAL. Why? Because I am lazy. I probably won't update very often. Look I am only a couple of sentences in and I am thinking "well thats good enough for now"..

I was going to stop at that last sentence but I didn't. You know what that makes me..Do you internet?.. UNPREDICTABLE.

So anyway I have some ideas that make me laugh and I will post those and other various life happenings. That , you see, will make it easier for stalkers to get to me and stalk. I leave you for now with this..