Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Communicator



Born of necessity THE COMMUNICATOR was invented by myself and my fellow mad scientist Faris Hero. This is it's story.

Once upon a time there was a large man with no pants...

Wait let me try again...

We begin our story with an idea and a dream. Dill Hero was a simple man with a great body. He was also a roller derby announcer. He had, on occasion, been known to drink and announce roller derby and mostly at the same time.

On a crisp November day, some years back, there was some wheeling and dealing going. Chris Pfouts was a scary guy. That is the first impression that most people would get upon introduction. A tall guy covered in tattoos. His vocal chords had been paralyzed at some time during his big amazing life therefore when he would say "hey Dill you're a great guy", you might feel like you have just been told you are going to be buried alive with a feral cat as company. In fact, Chris described himself as "crazy cat lady" and not really a rough and tough dark alley kind of guy. He drove a big flat black car with a wolf whistle and a naked lady with a skull face a the hood ornament. He also drove an El-camino which should have had bull horns on it but as yet has not happened. Chris had a Megaphone.Dill wanted it. There was some wheeling and dealing going on.

Dill came out of the situation with has very own Megaphone. Dill went about his life using the Megaphone as Megaphones are used. Yelling at people and advertising roller derby. "Talking" to the roller derby fans before bouts. The Megaphone even found its way to a movie theater for the opening of the movie "Whip It". Dill used it to tell the people in line for Toy Story 3 that they were "in the wrong line" and should come see "Whip It". The theater may have added a "Please turn off your Megaphones" right after the no cellphone warning and shut your mouth during the movie warnings.

Time past and fun was had but the Megaphone was starting to become normal. People would just look at it and sometimes clap but the magic was gone.

Dill came up with a good idea. Strap the Megaphone to a helmet. He conferred with his scientific friend Faris.
Faris looks like
Thomas Dolbyor this dude from the game HALO and is always up to make insane things real. With some bungee chords and the strength of 2 men, and some beers, Faris and Dill put together what would soon be known as The "Communicator". It ruled so much. You could wear it around and use the megaphone and basically look BAD ASS.It worked beautifully and became in intricate part of the roller derby scene. But Dill and Faris wanted more. After some successful growler beer preservation experiments they felt confident in there abilities to create an even better "Communicator". Thus was born "The Communicator 2.0"

FIN..
of the story part and the 3rd person writing. here are the ugly details.


Our friend Tom Klubens helped by taking some pics and drinking beer with us.


OOPS


After many mad nights of planning and testing we had decided that it needed
1.Blue Lights
2. A cool paint job
3. and MP3 player
4. a howling wolf
5. a chrome skull
6.Beer bottle opener
7.Be Bad-Ass

Several designs, blown lights, redesigns and experiments later, the COMMUNICATOR 2.0 was now in production.
Phase 1
I had an old L.E.D. Christmas tree that had been on our porch for 3 years. We decided in the heat of the moment that it might be cool to use.. check out the initial test.



The construction took place.

and then...
BEHOLD

The Final Design (includes Lights, Mp3 player, cool paint job, howling wolf, fiber optics,chrome skull, beer bottle opener, and is BAD ASS)





The blue magic howling wolf light switch




2 comments:

Ryan said...

1. The Communicator? AWESOME.
2. The dude is actually Gordon Freeman from the video game Half-Life, Half-Life 2, etc.

Greg said...

Are you sure it's not Gordon FROHMAN?

http://www.hlcomic.com/index.php?date=2005-05-01